viernes, octubre 28, 2011

MASTICANDO MIERDA

escribe para "LA PAGINA DE ROQUE" ADRIANA SAULLO

Cada vez son más las personas que utilizamos redes sociales, mails, chats, blogs, celulares, blacks, ble, bli, blo, blu. ¿Usamos estos nodos conectivos para entretenimiento, comunicación y mejorar la calidad de vida? NO. Tengamos en cuenta que los juguetes mencionados son muy poderosos. Rendimos culto al individualismo. Rara vez leemos con atención lo que nuestros “amigos” escriben; porque ahora somos todos amigos, visstess? Sisis. Estamos cada vez más solos, las salas de chats están llenas, los resultados de las búsquedas son infructuosos y en cada teclazo que damos, brindamos absolutamente toda nuestra información en bandeja, mientras miramos la función del circo. Marketineros y capitalistas de parabienes. Ya no necesitan comprar bases de datos ni pagar leguleyos para sortear leyes de protección de datos privados. Clickeás “Me gusta” y les diste a los tipos absolutamente todo tu perfil consumidor.
De ahí saben que vendernos, ¡que digo! a nosotros no nos venden nada, compramos solitos, aunque sepamos que estamos pagando mil mangos una pilcha que viene de la Salada, tiene un costo de dos pesos y atrás hay mano de obra barata. Pero el objeto del deseo posee la distinguida etiqueta de Tuccilate, KosiuSaenz... Desde 1492 a la actualidad no hemos cambiado nada. Seguimos comprando espejitos de colores a cambio de dólares inflamados. ¿Será porque la verdura hincha? ¡Los argentinos somos tan vivos! Por un momento los imagino en distintos escenarios. Los ubico en el tsunami de Japón, el atentado de Atocha o las Torres Gemelas. Mi mente vuela y en lugar de usar estos medios para hacer algo, clickean “Me gusta”. ¡O peor! el famoso “No me gusta” que dos mil boludos se comieron crudo junto a los gusanos, troyanos y todos los anos que se filtraron. Si Face incorpora una nueva aplicación no será necesario aceptar ni presionar ningún botón. ¿Somos tan ingenuos de creer que nos van a pedir permiso para enchufarnos la versión mejorada de Hotmail, Yahoo o Gmail? Qué importa. La consumiremos igual, sumisamente y alegremente. Speedy envía a sus usuarios tres megas sin nuestro aval ni previo aviso. Pague o marche preso. Y bancátela porque la compu anda peor que cuando te enganchabas con el 555-5555. Muchos me van a mandar a la mierda. Los chupa cirios y misericordiosos me mirarán con pena pensando en lo desgraciada que soy porque alegarán que padezco algún tipo de disturbio mental. ¿Por qué no usamos estos aparatitos para producir un cambio y damos vuelta la Exquisita? La base es mayor que el vértice. Somos más. El poder está en nosotros, solo que no nos hacemos cargo. Gente mansa e in memoriosa. Al que ayer escupimos hoy aplaudimos. Hacemos paro y salimos a hacer turismo. Tengo ganas de sacudir un poco las cosas. Descolguemos el teléfono por un día, apaguemos los celulares, la TV, no usemos nada. ¿Aburridos? Hablemos con nuestra pareja, hijos, amantes, vecinos, practiquemos una postura sexual que nos ratonea la cabeza, leamos un libro… no sé, ¡Pero hagamos algo! En un breve lapso ocurrieron varias cosas. Día de semana, 10 am, zona de ingreso a la Facultad de Ciencias Exactas de la UNLP. Una femenina de aproximadamente 30 años, sin armas, le roba dinero, campera y zapatillas a mi hija. Coro: ¡Lo importante es que no le pasó nada! No, solamente le afanaron, la chorra está suelta, todas las semanas le toca a un estudiante diferente ¡y nadie vio nada! Sábado a la tarde. Voy a lavar el auto, busco la manguera. No está. ¿Usted la tiene? No. ¿Qué son esas huelas en la medianera? No me importa una manguera. Me indigna que alguien haya entrado a mi propiedad. Vísperas de feriado. Mi hija mayor se fue en su auto con amigas a cenar. Al volver encontró la cerradura, el tambor de arranque roto, el estéreo desaparecido y algún que otro destrozo. Coro: Menos mal que ella no estaba. ¡Pudo haber sido peor! La ceguera continuaba en pleno centro de la capital de la provincia de Buenos Aires, a dos cuadras del Centro de Monitoreo, donde colocaron más cámaras que en Gran Hermano. ¿Es mi Alzheimer o el Ministerio de Seguridad, los hombres de azul y el gobernador dijeron que tales adminículos -última tecnología, panorámicas 360°, visión en oscuridad, trillones de pixeles- bajarían los índices delictivos? Lo llamativo es que si estaciono el auto y el ticket vence, a los diez minutos se lo lleva la grúa con puntualidad inglesa. Five o’clock tea. Hay que recaudar. El afano no puede ni debe verse. Las estadísticas tienen que cerrar y los políticos, la bonaerense y los muchachos del bombo necesitan caja “chica”. Año electoral, señores. Hace mucho quiero hacer algo, movilizarme, gritar, generar una posibilidad de cambio. ¿Somos capaces de armar una protesta pacífica y decir “Hasta aquí llegó mi amor”? ¡Me encantaría cercar el Congreso, la Casa Rosada, la Legislatura! Todos sentados y quietos. Por ahí nuestros honorables representantes por aburrimiento se pongan a laburar de verdad. Pero no lo haremos. Nuestra mentalidad nos da para pensar hasta donde llega la visión que genéticamente nos viene con miopía. Desde Barcelona me contaron la movida de los indignados. Hay gente de todos los estratos sociales. Ellos afirman que si hoy un vecino no puede pagar la hipoteca, mañana le puede tocar a cualquiera. Entonces se unen, se congregan. ¿Me pareció o escuché decir que los gallegos son unos boludos? Reiniciando. Cuando publiqué en el Facebook una nota hablando de estos temas, no encontré un puto comentario, un odioso “Me gusta” Adriana no te quejes, me repito. En la red me invitan a utilizar las más diversas aplicaciones. Así sabré como será mi muerte, mi marido, mi mascota, cuáles son mis poderes mentales, mis zonas erógenas, mis mejores orgasmos. ¡Hasta me regalan inodoros para armar un CityVille! Pensemos menos y boludeemos más. Necesito una dosis The Beatles. -¿Cómo se llama la canción? -“We can work it out” -Ahh… Try to see it my way, do I have to keep on talking till I can’t go on? We can work it out… Adriana Saullo 25/05/2011

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